Subconscious Fears

I am afraid of the dentist.

When I was younger, I had a monster of a dentist. My parents weren't too big on dental hygiene, so, needless to say, my teeth were pretty gross. My parents would occasionally make us brush our teeth, but the only time they really made us was right before going to the dentist (because that did a lot of good). I didn't have clean teeth; I had multiple (20+) cavities. I had to visit the dentist a lot. You might think, well, that was your own fault, if you took care of your teeth, you wouldn't have to go so often, and you wouldn't have such a bad view of the dentist. Well, I would agree with you, except for the fact that my dentist (and his staff) were pure evil.

I was scared. They wouldn't let my mom come into the back with me. Ever.  I remember the one event in particular. Once, I had to get my front baby tooth pulled because my adult tooth was coming in wrong. I was all set up with the gear- my mouth pried and propped open with metal objects and blue plastic. It's a scary set up. I was crying and one of the assistants came up to me and instead of telling me it's going to be okay and to calm down, she put her hand over my mouth, pressed down on the uncomfortable contraption, and told me to "shut up!" My sister and I always told my mom that the dentist is scary, and that we don't want to go back; they're not nice. My mom always thought we were just being kids until I told her what happened that last time. We never went back.

So, going back to the topic of this post, I am now what I believe to be subconsciously afraid of the dentist. I'm at a new dentist now, obviously, and I haven't had cavities in forever (I learned my lesson finally). Last year though, I had one cavity, my first in I don't know how long. I thought, no big deal. I'm an adult now. I can go to the dentist just fine. That's what I thought. I sat in the chair and as soon as the lady started putting the numbing agent in my mouth I started, what I can only guess is, hyperventilating. Tears formed in my eyes and I started breathing very quickly- gasping for air. It didn't hurt at all, I just got scared for some reason. She asked if I was alright, and I apologized to her, because there was absolutely nothing to be getting upset about. As the dentist was working on my cavity, I had to sit there and focus on staying calm and keeping my breathing even.

Have you ever experienced anything like this? Where you're afraid of something, but you feel pretty silly for being so? I have never had a huge problem with this dentist, but I started freaking out for no reason. I can only guess that I have a subconscious fear of the dentist working on my mouth. I can go in for cleanings no problem, but mention cavities and I'm about ready to cry. You can bet that when I have kids, they will have clean mouths!