Blisters

Thinking about him is like having a five day old blister on the inside of your thumb. You no longer suffer the pain from the initial popping and tearing of the skin, but every once in a while you'll stretch your hand too far open and a tiny fissure will rip open, leaving you bleeding once again. And to make matters worse, that little blister on your thumb comes from a happier time. A time when thinking about him only brought smiles. A time when you were using a staple gun to fix the backyard fence to keep the neighbor's dog in the neighbor's yard.

I woke up thinking about him, like I have every morning since we started going out. And for the first time in four days I was able to do so without any tears forming in my eyes. The blister is healing. I know it's there, but it doesn't hurt to touch it anymore. I've been waiting for the day when I can make it a whole 24 hrs without crying. I almost did it yesterday, but when I got home from the movie theater with my friend Kris (he hadn't seen Harry Potter yet and needed someone to go with), I decided to test how much my blister had healed, and I stretched my thumb a little farther than I should have by texting Chris. I knew it would hurt, but it hurt more than I thought it would. The tears came yet again.

But today is the day. I will not cry today. I am going to force my blistered, broken heart to heal once and for all. I love this man, but I'm done crying over him.

I think it's time to return his things.

*Edit 6:44PM:  Mission failed. I don't think I'll ever stop crying.