Quote of the Month:

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney
{Past Quotes}

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Palmolive® Fresh Infusions™

So, I received another VoxBox from Influenster.com recently. This time they sent me three bottles of Palmolive dish soap. This is a new line of soap that they've recently introduced:

"Just like the best recipes, the freshest scents & elegant simplicity are what inspire us in the kitchen. Taking cues from nature, we created inviting, naturally inspired fragrance blends - and combined them with the sparkling clean you've always trusted from Palmolive® dish liquid. Infuse your kitchen with freshness."


I personally loved the scent of the Ginger White Tea one (it's fruity and fresh). And it is tough on grease! Washes dishes well and doesn't leave your hands dried out. I have one I need to give away! If you're interested in trying out this soap let me know and I'll let you have it! And sorry, but I'm keeping the Ginger White Tea for myself (; you can have your choice of the other two!

Final Thoughts:
Really love the bottles. It's great at cleaning dishes and smells fantastic. Will definitely be buying this in the future... as soon as my bottles run out (:

If you want to try out this awesome new Palmolive soap for yourself, you can find it in stores at Walmart! (Where else right?) And if you want to know a bit more about it, you can visit the Palmolive website here. And if you're still not convinced, you can see more reviews at Influenster.com.

Disclaimer: I received free samples of Palmolive® Fresh Infusions™ from Influenster through the Palmolive® Fresh Infusions™ Program!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Death of a Dog

I killed a dog last night.

I was driving home from school. On east bound 58 going 65 mph. There was no time to stop. No time to swerve or switch lanes. He just walked out right in front of my car. I saw him walk past the car in front of me on the right lane and all too late realized that he wasn't going to walk fast enough to make it past mine. I hit him dead center.

What happened next was complete shock. It all happened in slow motion. I saw the dog walking casually across the freeway. I quickly checked my mirrors to see if I had any chance at all to avoid it. I hit the dog.

It was a big dog. My front bumper was broken. I heard something dragging and for a gruesome second thought it was the dog. I pulled to the side of the road and that's when the "oh my god. oh my god. oh my god"s started happening. Then came the sobs and the thoughts "should I call 911?" Then I thought no, they don't show up for roadkill. I convinced myself to get out of my car and go check the front... just to make sure there wasn't a dog stuck to the front of my car. Nope, bumper just destroyed. Then I dared myself to look behind me.

It was dark; all I could see was the silhouette of the dog whenever a car passed. I called my mom. "Mom, I just hit a dog." Crying the whole time, I told her my bumper was broken. She asked where I was, and I couldn't think straight exactly. I had to walk back to the sign over the freeway. By the dog's body. I walked a little ways and saw the Mt. Vernon sign. I took a look at the dog. When a car passed, I could have swore I saw it breathing...

My mom told me to get back into my car where it was safe (I was on the left side of the freeway on a bridge after-all  and wait until they got there. I cried and cried. What if I just killed someone's baby? What if it is still alive? Laying there in the road suffering.

My parents pulled up and when my dad got to me he hugged me as I bawled into his jacket. I told him it was still alive and he told me it wasn't when they passed it. I came to one of two conclusions- it was actually dead, or my dad was trying to make me feel better.

My mom drove me home, and when I got there I cuddled and petted my dog Champ for a good long while.

And all the hysterical side of me could think "This is all Chris' fault." I got out of class early today; if he hadn't of broken up with me I would be at Prime Cut right now, not driving home.

So far 2013 is one of the worst years of my life.

A

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wordless Wednesday


A Little Bit Of Closure

Tomorrow will be one week since Chris broke up with me. And this time I feel safe saying it like that. He broke up with me. The last time this happened a year and a half ago, I half way felt like it was a mutual decision. This is our second break up and I think that's what makes this time so much easier... of course in some ways it makes it harder.

It made it harder in the beginning because last time he took me back. Part of me kept thinking "he'll change his mind! He'll realize again that he does need me." And it made it easier because after we got back together last time I made the mental decision to not get back together with him if he broke my heart again.

The biggest thing that makes this time so much easier is because he finally admitted that I loved him more than he did. I have always felt like that throughout these three years, but I thought it was just my silly subconsciousness trying to make me feel insecure. After I got home that day we had a text message conversation and I finally told him it doesn't make sense. You can't say that you love me and that I am good enough for you and then say you don't see a future with me. That's when he told me that he didn't love me as much as I love him. That's what has helped me move on- what gave me my closure.

The first time he broke up with me I cried for 2 weeks straight. This time I was done crying over him on day 3. He crushed me on Thursday and by Saturday I was out of tears. This doesn't mean I'm fine, it just means that I feel like a black hole. There are no more tears left. Why waste tears on a man who doesn't want me? Who never needed me.

Friday night was probably the best post-break up night ever. I got a hair cut, bought a new dress, shoes, and belt. Then went out dancing at The Padre with two of my good friends, Alyssa and Rachel. We danced the night away until around midnight when the song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on. "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it". And then it hit me like a brick wall. He should have put a ring on it. We went back to Alyssa's house and had a good long cry and when I woke up Saturday morning I was done crying.

I still get moments where I'll see something or remember something that reminds me about plans I had with him, and then remember that I'll never get to do them. It does make me sad, but I know that eventually I'll be better off without him.

And even with all that's been said, it's true, ignorance is bliss, and I still love him, and a part of me wishes I never went to his house that day. That none of this ever happened.

I just wanted to say thank you to all of my friends who've given a kind word or hug to me throughout all of this. The thought did run through my mind to just cut everyone off. All of our friends. I didn't want to see him, so I thought cutting all of you out would be a solution, but I love you guys too and right now I need all the friends I can get.

So thank you, for just being there when he wasn't.

A

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Facebook Official

Yesterday a friend of mine said nothing is official until it is "Facebook Official". Well today I officially changed my status to "single".

It's happened again. My heart is broken. Again. My future is shattered. Again. But this time it doesn't hurt as bad. I think it's because this time I know it's really over. There is nothing I can say to make him change his mind. I love him. He loves me. I just love him more. It's the whole, "you did nothing wrong, " "I still love you," "you are good enough" but "I don't see a future with you" thing.

I'm heart broken. Everything reminds me of him. Heck, even my phone reminds me of him. I can't go and throw out everything that reminds me of him because I can't throw out my phone. I can't throw out my camera. I can't throw out my laptop. I can't throw out my jacket. Wow. I just realized I'm wearing his shirt right now as a pajama top. And the weird part is that I have no desire to take it off. I have so many conflicting emotions right now. I want to hate him... I think part of me actually does this time. I want to go to his house and watch Archer together. I want to hold him in my arms. I want to throw things at him. 

I want to cry in front of him.

I want him to feel as bad as I do.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I got to his house after work. I could just sense it. Then came the talk. I tried so hard to be strong and not to cry. Part of me just wanted to gather my things up and then go downstairs and watch tv together like I had planned earlier. He was my best friend.

I guess my future is a blank slate once more. I can cross off marrying Chris. I can cross off having Chris' children. I can cross off proving to Chris that marriages can actually last.

One part of me feels free... another part of me feels lost.... the lost part seems to be winning right now. I know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but I never saw this coming. I never got a chance to fight. The only thing I could do was accept it. Hug him one last time and cry myself home in my car.

I guess the best thing for me to do now is focus on finding out who I really am. Then finding someone who can really love me... or just go out and party it up and enjoy being single again... Can I do that? I've never wanted anyone but him. Ever. He is all my firsts. And I wanted him to be all my lasts.

"Almost three years." That's what I told my friend at work today when she asked how long my boyfriend and I had been together. "Almost three years".

I can either think of this as an awful start to 2013 or a second chance... Right now I just feel like crap.

A


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Two Thousand Thirteen

2013.
A new year... again.

How was your first day in the new year? Was it any different from days you've spent in 2012? Do you feel any different? Did you make resolutions? Are they going to fail?... Don't they usually fail?

How will you make this year different from the last? I've heard a few "resolutions" from friends this year. For some it's losing weight, for others buying a car. All very good resolutions. But what makes the first of the year such a milestone? Why couldn't these goals have been made months ago?


For many, the first of the year feels like a clean slate; a way to start over. And in a way, it is. It's a psychological beginning. True, most resolutions fail- like saying you'll never eat ice cream again. Yeah, like that's going to happen- and that's why it's best to take baby steps. Making a resolution to "lose weight" is doomed to fail. There is no set goal. Nothing to push you forward towards your goal, because you're not quite sure what it is. You might have an idea of what it is, but "lose weight" is so open. It could be 10 pounds or 50 pounds. Who's to say when you've accomplished losing weight?

My new year's resolution is to move out of my parent's home. That by itself would be a fail. When is the big question there. I could move out in December of 2013. By the first statement, that would be a win. Though it's much closer to being a fail. One of my goals of this year is to move out of my parent's home in January. This year. 2013. It's going to be a tough one; I've lived in their house my entire life. I might have to get a 2nd job to help support myself, but this is the month! I believe in making realistic resolutions.

This one seems pretty realistic to me. Maybe I should give myself another month. Make the goal February, but if I do that, what's to stop me from next month saying, "just one more month, better make it March"? And that is how resolutions get out of control. It is kinda... scary to think about. But maybe that's not the right adjective... Different. Most everyone fears change. I am going to embrace it... or at least try to haha.

Wish me luck on completing my New Year Resolution: Move out of my parent's home by the end of January. And good luck to everyone else who made a resolution this year! I really hope it works out for you! Make a change for the better this year.

Yes I'm going to kick myself if this fails, but I'm going to give it my all. Just got to find the right place for the right price!

On a side note... goal #2:  Go skydiving (:

A
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